That Was Then
by mhx3
Summary: Carter gets invited to a family event back in Chicago. He arrives just in time to find Abby struggling with a reoccuring problem that she cannot handle by herself, and he's the only one that can save her. CARBY.
1. One

Author's Note: Takes place one year after Carter left with Kem (approximately late season 12). Abby and Luka are not together and Abby is not pregnant.

DARFUR

It was just after noon when he pulled off his sunglasses and wiped the sweat off of his forehead, looking for a place out of the sweltering sun. It had been almost a year and he still half expected to wake up to the frigid winds seeping through the windows of his Chicago apartment. It was almost June now and John could not particularly say that he was looking forward to summer. Summer in Darfur was much like a predator than an opportunity to visit the beach. The more one tried to hide from the sun's broiling rays, the more they realized that it was impossible to escape the drastic temperatures. It was 123 degrees in the shade, and the arid desert parched the residents to which it surrounded within seconds after they took lengthy sips of water.

He entered a small, frail hut where fourteen patients lay waiting for him to assess their wounds. He swished a buzzing insect away from his ear and went over to the sink in the corner to splash water onto his face and hands. Here, cleanliness was the least of their worries. With the little supplies that they had and the constant intrusion of aggressive Janjaweed soldiers, they were expected to make the best of it and save who they could. The majority of the people that needed their help were bound to die within the next few months even after being treated, which was the hardest part for Carter. He saw people suffering with malaria, polio, and malnutrition- all of which would have been treatable if they had been in America. Rebels would come in and out with severed arms and legs and gun shot wounds to the chest and abdomen. Often families would come in need of a place to hide from the gun-possessing government that so violently ruled the nation. Sometimes the overwhelming amount of suffering people and war casualties seemed unbearable, and Carter felt it impossible to ever fully adjust to the sadness and hatred that surrounded the place.

"Debbie is insisting that you see her. She says you have received important news from Chicago. I'll take this," Dr. Dakarai told Carter, who was just about to assess a very ill-looking pregnant woman. Carter looked at him with curiosity and confusion. He hadn't gotten much news from back home since he left the place a year ago, and it was starting to worry him.

He caught up with Debbie after leaving the hut and told her what Dakarai had told him. She merely nodded in response.

"Yeah, apparently your father's trying to get in touch with you. Go to the information clinic and ask them for the number. And keep it short, this place can't afford to waste money on family phone calls," she said as nicely as possible. Carter, without saying another word, hurried off to the nearest phone.

CHICAGO

She wasn't completely alone. She'd found her lifelong companion and had grown quite fond of it. Although she saw it to be second best, she enjoyed its company nevertheless. Alcohol was her new best friend.

She didn't need it when he was in her life because he had saved her in so many ways. He had saved her from misery, from her fear of love, and most importantly, he had saved her from alcohol. She'd never forget the way he used to make her feel like she was actually worth something; like she was something worthy of holding on to, despite the amount of baggage that she carried.

When they were together, she knew she'd never need a drop of liquor to keep her happy. Now that he was gone, she had started to second guess the true effectiveness of AA meetings and had turned back to her old habit. Because alcohol, though it destroyed her as a person, would never leave her for a different life on a different continent like Carter had done.

Words could not fully explain the feelings that had overwhelmed her when he left. He had broken her heart and completely demolished every little bit of trust she had in him – and in anybody for that matter. She had opened up to him and he let her down, much like what everyone in Abby's life seemed to do. It was such a self-destructing feeling. When she finally was able to build up the confidence to trust and love, she was left alone and hurt.

But she wasn't alone anymore. She was drinking again. She was miserable, but at least she had something to take the edge off when she got home from work. She knew it was wrong and she knew it was hurting her even more – but at this point she figured she was bound to be immune to anything hurtful.

Even with all the pain he had brought her, she still missed him. She missed the way his open-heartedness would bring so much care into the ER, and it saddened her to know that the County General patients could no longer have the privilege of having him for a doctor.

She just missed his presence. She'd give anything to have him back in the ER – even if it meant they could be nothing more than colleagues.

DARFUR

"Dad? The reception is really bad here. Could you speak a little louder?" Carter practically yelled into the receiver. He leaned over the information desk. A dark African-American receptionist glared at him, waiting for him to hang up.

"Hi, John. They told you I called?"

"Yes, is everything alright?"

"Oh, yes, everything's fine. I just wanted to know how you were doing. Africa's keeping you busy I suppose?" Carter rolled his eyes at his father. He knew the purpose of the call wasn't just to find out what's up with him.

"Yeah, it is. There are very few doctors and an infinite number of patients. Every day more hectic than the previous."

"I still don't know why you don't come back to Chicago. If you were unhappy with County, you could have opened up your own practice or something. Or you could have taken a place in the family business." Carter didn't reply to this. Both he and his father knew how many times he had explained that he didn't want a private practice, nor did he want to become chairman of the Carter Foundation. He had left for Africa for a different life- one he had expected to have been going really well by now.

"Well, anyways, hopefully I can give you a reason to come back. Believe it or not, I'm getting remarried – and since I couldn't guarantee that an invitation would arrive safely in Darfur, I decided to call. I'm inviting you to the wedding on June 8," his father explained. Carter was too shocked to give himself a mental pat on the back for knowing his father had another reason for calling. Remarried?

"Well….uh, that's really soon and I haven't exactly checked my schedule recently. So I'd have to get back to you. As much as I'd like to be there for you, I can't guarantee a visit," he explained. Schedule? He hadn't had a schedule in a long time – not since he had worked at County. There were no shifts in Darfur, it was just constant working.

"John, if it is going to keep you from your obligations then by all means stay in Darfur. I just wanted to invite you and I thought that you should know in case you should ever decide to call me or visit. I have to go, I have a meeting with the advisory board. Get back to me when you can. I'd love for you to come."

"Alright, I'll call you soon. Bye." He hung up and handed the phone back to the receptionist.

"Everything okay?" Debbie asked from behind. He turned to face her and ran his fingers through his hair. She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah, my father's getting remarried. I can't even think about him with another woman. It's so weird for me, even at this age. He invited me to attend the wedding and I'm not sure if I want to go," he sighed.

"John, don't take this the wrong way but you've been really forlorn lately. It may just be the heat, but I think you deserve a little break from this place. We all need one once in awhile. And it would do you good to go back and see all your friends." Carter contemplated Debbie's advice. As much as it would be weird for him to see his father at the altar with a strange woman, he felt that a trip back hope could possibly do him good. In fact, he had been thinking about it ever since Kem left.


	2. Two

Author's Note: Susan Lewis and Jing-Mei Chen are still working in the ER.

CHAPTER 2

CHICAGO

The persistent beeping in Abby's ears was apparently not going to stop until she smacked the off button on her alarm clock. When she finally did, the bedroom was again silent. Her heavy eyelids were tempted to close yet again, but she knew if she overslept again she'd be suspended.

She padded barefoot across the hall to the bathroom and faced what she knew to be the mirror before switching on the light. She wasn't too surprised to see that her eyes were droopy, her hair was sticking in every possible direction, and her cheeks had indentations on them from her pillow. Sighing, she turned away from the mirror.

The shower knob squeaked when she turned it on. She pulled off her tank top and pajama pants and stepped in to the brutally cold water, cursing. Abby had been known to put off paying for her rent, and she'd often be penalized by having her hot water or cable taken away. She dunked her head under the water, trying to wash herself quickly before she started to shiver.

She found herself smiling, thinking about the water temperature. John wouldn't have minded it. His showers were always much colder than hers. His were always cold and hers were always hot. If he ever decided to step in the shower with her, he'd always have to brace himself for the burning hot water. Despite the fact that they never could share a perfect shower together, she always felt that their difference in body circulation made them even more perfect for each other. He'd always be hot, she'd always be cold, and so when they cuddled close together at night, both of their problems would be solved.

She turned off the shower after shampooing and conditioning, and of coarse using her strawberry banana scented body wash. She was thinking about him again. It was a routine for her now. She'd forget about him for a week or two, and then she'd discover something that would make her think about what life used to be like when he was a part of her life. It was pathetic and sadistic that she couldn't move on with her life and he could, and she was supposed to be strong.

But strong was something she couldn't even pretend to be anymore. She'd wake up every morning with a hangover that would remind her that she had yet again given into the alcohol; that she was weak. She was weak without him; without stability, love, and true friendship. She didn't have anyone she could really talk to besides Neela, who was, although intelligent and wise, just too young. She regretted her selfish need to be independent. When he was here for her, she hardly ever let him be. It took his departure to an entirely different continent to make her realize just how much she did need him. But he was gone and probably very happy at the moment, and she was beginning to realize that as long as she tried to cling onto something that was out of her life, she'd be plummeting into an unfathomable hole of desperation and helplessness.

DARFUR

Carter hated airports. He had spent his entire life traveling with his socially implicated family that flying had become extremely tedious. He walked up to the public service desk and handed the woman his passport and identification.

"I need one ticket to Chicago please. I tried calling from Darfur but it's not necessarily easy to connect with the outside world from there. If you have any flights today, that would be great, but if not, I can come back tomorrow." The woman looked at him as if every word that came out of his mouth was slowing down her entire day. Apparently she wasn't one for small talk.

"There's a flight at 4:30 pm to Chicago, Illinois. Only first class is available," she said with a strong African accent. By the way he was dressed he didn't necessarily look like he was apt to buying a first class ticket, and the woman was definitely giving him a judging stare. He raised his eyebrows at her.

"Oh, that's fine," he smiled politely, and handed her his Visa. She looked somewhat surprised, but took his card without a word. Carter wondered if she would have fainted if she somehow found out he was worth millions of dollars.

The time surprisingly went by fast since John had easily distracted himself with a few magazines and an hour or so of people watching. He boarded his plane, found his seat and readied himself for the long flight. It wasn't until lift off that he started to become a little nervous. He was going back after a year to see his friends and family. The last time he had been to a family ceremony was his grandmother's funeral which, although memorable, was quite a catastrophic event. He feared that things wouldn't be the same. He knew they wouldn't – he wasn't even the same person anymore.

As his mind traced over some of the best memories he had experienced in Chicago, his stomach dropped and a wave of nerves overcame him – not because they had suddenly hit some turbulence, but because a certain face had popped into his head unexpectedly. A certain face he had not forgotten throughout the year. A certain face that he had missed more than anyone else's in Chicago. Abby's beautiful, gentle eyes and rare but extravagant smile came to mind in that moment. It seemed like an eternity since he had felt her touch, and he remembered it well. She was the only one that could make his entire body tingle by one single touch.

It wasn't the first time that he had thought about her out of the blue. He had come across many smiles and many eyes that had resembled hers, although none of them were nearly as capturing. Even the sarcastic comments that some of the other female doctors would make reminded him of her. And as much as he loved when she occupied his mind, he also hated being constantly reminded of what he had left behind; of what he had ruined. It only gave him more of a reason to be angry with himself and to be incredibly unhappy. Maybe if he hadn't blamed her for everything, or if he hadn't expected so much of her – or more importantly, if he hadn't run away and gotten a woman he hardly knew (but highly respected) pregnant, they'd still be together. Or at least they might have still been good friends.

When he had brought a very pregnant Kem home to Chicago, he knew, judging from the butterflies in his stomach when he saw her again, that he'd always love Abby. And maybe it was selfish of him to have pushed himself to love Kem, but it seemed to be the proper thing to do. He was going to be the father of her child. It was what was expected of him. But with the death of Joshua, and the amount of heartbreak he and Makemba had gone through, it was only natural that their relationship ended. And John's life had again turned upside down.

He leaned his head back against the stiff pillow and closed his eyes. What would she say to him? Would she even speak to him? Maybe they didn't have to see each other – maybe he'd just avoid going to County. Perhaps he'd sit alone in his old apartment and mope.

He smiled at his sarcastic mind. He couldn't come to Chicago without revisiting his friends. It wasn't fair to them or to him. He'd have to not only have to face her but also everyone's grueling questions about Kem and Africa and what was going on in his so-called perfect life. And afterwards he'd have to pretend to like his new step-mother, whom he'd never met but already expected to be a gold-digging bitch.

He took a deep breath and started to regret ever stepping foot onto the plane.

CHICAGO

"Oh, uh, Dr. Weaver? Listen I'm not trying to get out of working my shift it's just, I feel really sick. I think I probably have a fever. So I'm going home, okay?"

Kerry Weaver stopped in her tracks on her way to curtain one and turned to face the admit desk. Morris already had his things and was starting to head out the doors.

"Hold it, Morris. Come here." Morris, looking a little frightened, walked slowly over to her. She felt his forehead. He flinched as she touched him, as if she were poisonous.

"You don't feel feverish to me. You're just hot, sweaty, and exhausted like the rest of us. Get back to work," she ordered, turning back around.

"Alright. Just don't freak out on me when I faint in a trauma because of this heat. It's 105 degrees and there's no AC in this god damn ER!" he complained. Kerry waved her hand from down the hall, signaling that she didn't care.

"Want a popsicle?" Jerry asked Morris from behind the desk. Morris gave him a dirty look and stomped back into the doctor's lounge. Abby entered the ER wearing a red t-shirt and jean capris with sneakers. It was the most appropriate outfit she could find for work in this weather. She would have much rather come in shorts and a tank top.

"This must be a record for early June in Chicago. I don't remember it ever being this hot until mid July," she told Jerry, walking behind the desk and checking the board.

"Yeah, and the AC is broken again. That's why I'm stocking up on popsicles," he replied as he opened a cherry pop and bit the top off. Abby laughed at him.

"Glad to see you're here Abby. There's abdominal pain in exam four and a possible flu patient in six," Luka said, handing her some charts. She raised her eyebrows at him.

"I'm not on for ten minutes," she informed him. He shrugged.

"That's what you get for being early," he said, giving her a small grin. She rolled her eyes at him playfully.

"This is going to be a long day," Susan Lewis said as she left the lounge with a coffee in hand. Abby looked at her and sighed.

"Tell me about it. I can't stand the heat; it puts me in such a bad mood."

"At least it's not snowing," she replied, grabbing a few charts. She followed Abby down the hall.

"Hey, Abby. Are you alright?" Dr. Lewis asked.

"What? What makes you think I'm not?" Abby asked back.

"It's just you seem a little tired lately, and kind of depressed." Abby looked at Susan and then looked away.

"I'm fine, really. Work's just been keeping me busy. But thanks for the concern," she said somewhat dryly, and entered exam four. Susan sighed worriedly.

The day droned on slowly. There wasn't a person in the ER that wasn't sweating profusely and it was really off-putting for both the doctors and the patients. More and more people became irritable and grouchy. It was not a good day to be at the hospital.

It started to get cooler at around 6 pm, and by then everyone was beyond pooped. Abby was sitting at the admit desk once she had discharged most of her patients, trying to relax.

"So Abby, how's your love life going?" Susan asked, leaning over the desk.

"Excuse me?"

"I think I've found the cure to all of your physical and emotional needs. Chuck has this, well…nephew…"

"Not interested, but thanks," Abby replied briskly.

"You didn't let me finish. He's 30, but he's extremely cute. Tall, dark, and handsome, and not to mention smart and funny." Abby laughed.

"I'm almost certain that doesn't exist," she said doubtfully.

"Oh, trust me, it does. You just have to find the right person. And I think what you need is an amazing guy more than ever right now." Wow, she was right on target. Yet, she only needed one certain guy right now.

"Keep going," Abby said, sitting up. Maybe it would Susan stop worrying about her if she agreed to go on a date.

"His name's Ken and you're going to love him. What day should I set up the date?" Abby thought for a moment.

"How about this Saturday night," she shrugged. Susan grinned.

"Will do. I can't believe you agreed to meet him! You won't regret this Abby," she exclaimed, heading off to the lounge.

"Ken? What kind of a name is that?" Luka asked as he erased a patient of the board. Abby gave him a look.

"What kind of a name is Luka?"

"Ken's worse," he said.

"Eavesdropping, are we?"

"Sorry, I couldn't help it. Are you sure he's old enough?"

"No. But what else do I have to do? I'm almost certain it's not going to work out. But hey, at least it keeps me off the couch."

"I never thought I'd see Abigail Lockhart, goddess of the ER, struggling to find a date. It's shocking," he told her, walking over to her chair. She chuckled.

"Yeah well, it's not them. It's me and my baggage. I'm hard to handle," she grinned. Luka nodded enthusiastically and she hit him in the arm.

"He said he can't do Saturday, but he was wondering if you could do tomorrow night," Susan told Abby, poking her head out of the lounge.

"Tomorrow's what, Friday?"

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Uh, I guess. I just have a morning shift, and after that I'm not on until midnight." Susan disappeared again and Luka laughed at her.

"What?"

"Nothing. I wish you the best of luck on your hot date with Ken," he winked, then left to check on a patient. She sighed. She loved being ridiculed about her love life; it was what the ER employees did best.

"Hey Abby, your shoe's untied," Jerry said. She rolled her eyes at Jerry's attempt to pull a lame practical joke.

"Nice try, Jerry."

"I wasn't kidding, but whatever," he said, shrugging. Abby looked down to see an untied sneaker. She sighed and bent over to tie it.

"Oh my God. You won't believe who just called me," Susan said, speaking to anybody who was lurking around the admit area, "I hadn't heard his voice in so long."

"Who called you?" Luka asked, from the hallway. He made his way over to Susan.

"Carter. He's in Chicago for his father's wedding. He said he'd stop by tomorrow. Isn't that so great? It's going to be exciting to see him again."

Abby, who had the entire conversation, sat up quickly from tying her shoe and hit her head hard on the desk.

"What?"

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A lot of reviews, and I'll gladly update. D


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